Help me, Obi-Mom Kenobi! You’re my only hope.

This past Thursday, we ran away from all our bathroom woes for a long weekend vacation (yes, the shower re-construction is still going). We ran all the way to Madison, Wisconsin, in fact. It was colder than we expected that weekend and we only brought light jackets along so our hands were more than a wee bit chilly. We didn’t really have anything specifically in mind for entertainment and we didn’t know anyone that could show us around town, BUT…

• our hotel had a large, indoor swimming pool (82 F) and relaxing hot tub (102 F). Additionally, there was about 20 kids around The Boy’s age who were in town for a soccer tournament so he joined in their game of keep away (the ball from the dads) in the pool.
• the keepers at Henry Vilas Zoo were just filling the American Alligator tank back up with water, after cleaning it, so we got to see two of them up close and personal, and were completely surprised by a third one crashing into the pool after being (forcibly) pushed back into the exhibit room. I think we all jumped back about three feet.
• the topping choices for pizza at Ian’s Pizza were awesome (if slightly strange), but we all found something to enjoy. They had a great “small” salad idea too. You picked which type of greens you wanted and then got to pick three “add in’s” and the dressing of your choice. They put it all together for you, shook it around in a large bowl to mix and handed it over. It was very yummy.
• we found a cool limestone cave out in Mt Horeb, called Cave of the Mounds, and roamed around in it. The temperature in the cave matched the temperature outside, which doesn’t happen too often.

The Boy wanted his picture taken in front of this formation, I think it’s called flow stone.

• lunch and dinner in a couple of good, local brew pubs still tastes better than cooking it myself (especially the lamb stew at Brocach and the pot pie at The Great Dane).
• we had a relaxing morning driving around looking at some of the local neighborhoods and the surrounding countryside.
• the Wisconsin Historical Museum gave us a chance to learn more about 10,000 years of Wisconsin history. The statue below emphasized that cheese is only a small fraction of the state’s industry and commerce; the cow is standing on a “field” of nuts and bolts.

The Boy narrowly escapes a tree being felled back during the lumber age

• Oceans 13 called our names one night, from the pay per view channel. It was brainless and mediocre and completely, ridiculously expensive and we all enjoyed it very much anyway.
• we had a real, working shower at our disposal and could take one whenever we wanted! Ah, simple pleasures.

Yes, here it is. Two days and a basketful of money later, our new shower is mostly installed. We have to drywall this weekend – oh, fun – and then The Plumber will be back on Monday to install the shower door. As boxy and ungainly as it appears right now, the bathroom will only get more claustrophobic feeling once the drywall is up and the room is repainted. Above is from inside the bathroom looking out.

This is the tunnel of darkness looking into the bathroom. The darkness will only fill in as the drywall covers up all the little light-emitting spaces around the current shower wall. Please excuse me a moment while I go bang my head on the wall to numb my sorrow.

Notice the way that the existing flooring doesn’t match up with the new shower shape. Quite lovely, wouldn’t you agree? We’re discussing possible fixes at present, but will probably end up leveling up the floor at that spot and installing a small amount of tile between the short walls on either side, directly in front of the shower door opening.

The basement shower had to be completely ripped out and replaced. This took two full days. Two full days. That’s 8:00am to 4:30 pm, two days in a row. In the effort, just about everything that could go wrong with a shower replacement did. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the expression “Huh” (said in a surprised voice) loses its amusing charm after about the fifth time.

Moments of infamy from yesterday alone:

• I over-sleep and am awoken at 8am by the answering machine taking a call from The Plumber informing me that he is on his way over. After scrambling out of bed and racing for the phone, I attempt to break the world speed-dressing record as he is only three houses away.
• The Plumber (immediately upon seeing my shower) says, “Huh” (in a surprised voice) and then announces that the particular shower design we have is absolutely just about the worst shower design in history. He precedes to tell me about how the shower is failing, what type of problems we are experiencing and describes, in detail, the extent and areas of wall damage and mold we have found. He is spot on in absolutely every way.
• The Plumber informs me that he had just replaced that same type of shower at another location the day before, after attempting to repair it (at the owners request) over the course of three months.
• I politely request that he just tear the *&^(%$# thing out and put a new one in its place. I am not interested in playing around with a leaky shower for the next three months. Five years has been enough already.
• The Plumber sees the upstairs bathtub/shower situation and announces that the sub floor is ruined, the toilet is potentially leaking and the tub faucet handles are stripped. The tile (circa 1949 and no longer in circulation) will have to be removed (via smashing) to get back at the faucet mechanism. When I balk at smashing through perfectly good tile, he mentions that our only other solution is to access the mechanism through the ceiling of the stairwell directly behind it. Oh, and by the way, had I noticed that two of the tiles are already cracked and possibly leaking slightly?
• The Plumber goes back to his office to request that the owner call me with a pre-work estimate while he gathers the necessary tools and extra supplies for a tear out and re-install. The owner calls and I receive the first bit of good news for the day. They have a perfect sized neo-angle shower – in stock – that was special ordered for another job but didn’t end up getting used. He’ll give me a discount on it since the previous person paid a restocking fee for changing her mind about the size she wanted at the last minute. As a reality check, he gives me an expected price range. I wonder what the going rate for selling plasma is currently.
• The Plumber returns, begins to tear out the old shower and says many, many “huh’s” as he finds all kinds of screw ups in the installation of the previous shower. Far too numerous to list here.
• The shower, the wonderful neo-angle shower that will perfectly fit into the existing space and look similar to the previous one, does not fit down our basement’s narrow stairwell. Much time ($) and effort ($) is expended transporting the glorious shower to our house, into our entryway, and back onto the truck to the plumbing store. I die a little inside.
• We are now confined to a standard square shower, good-bye discount. As an added bonus, the boxy shape of the shower will effectively block all light from over the sink fixture from getting to the door leading into the room.
• A wall has to be built for the side wall of the new square shower. This will add four inches of width to the shower area, shrinking the open space around the pedestal sink.
• The back wall for the new shower has to be rebuilt, pushing the shower yet another four inches closer to the sink.
• The cement slab floor has to be tore up so that the drain can be repositioned. “Huh.” Our drain is sitting just below the floor level, just over the main sewer line leading out of the bathroom. Very little drain pipe is available for the new reconnect.
• The new shower will not completely cover the cutout area of the bathroom’s distinctively patterned vinyl flooring. We are short about 5 inches on one side of the new shower.

On a positive note, we are allowed to use the bathtub upstairs (but not the shower head) for washing up. While laying in the tub and attempting to wash my hair, I successfully refrain from slipping completely under the water in an effort to avoid having to deal with any more shower issues the next day.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but SOMEDAY we’re going to move someplace where when the basement shower leaks and rots out the drywall behind it, when the upstairs tub/floor joint leaks down into the entryway ceiling, when the old nasty exterior doors need replacing and when the oven timer rings out a very strange siren sound… it will just not be our problem.

Sadly, we have not moved nor are we likely to move in the near future so these issues are very much our problem. I’ve got a plumber coming tomorrow to evaluate the bathroom dilemmas as well as a door guy coming to measure for a new front door (he installed the new side door this past spring). I’ve got a lead on a local handy man to put in a new kitchen faucet and repair the hot water leak in the half-bath. Yes, those are on the fritz too.

On a happier note, we’re going to on a long weekend holiday before too long and it just may keep me sane for a little while longer. My brother-in-law has also informed us (more than a month in advance if you can believe that!) that he’s going to be in town the week of Thanksgiving, so I’m looking forward to that especially. If the government could see, in its wisdom, to let my newest sister-in-law into the country sometime real soon, that would be even better.

So here’s what happened a while back when The Dad was getting out of the bathtub after soaking away a few of his soccer-induced aches and pains. He’s just so burly sometimes…

Hmm, we all got a quick peek into what our 60 year old walls are made of (reinforced plaster) and a little longer lesson in how to repair plaster. Thankfully, my friend Sherry’s husband is a professional plasterer, so – after emailing his a few pictures of the damage – he gave us a quick rundown on what we needed to do, the order in which to do them, and even dropped off some materials so that we wouldn’t have to buy $30 of mix when all we needed was a half-dollar’s worth.